A Correspondance.

As most of you know I have a Myspace. Now and again on myspace I search for new friends. The way I figure it the more friends I have the more people I can go out with. I like to party and have a core group of friends but I'd like to mix it up here and there.

I was befriending people a few days ago and I came across this profile.

Now, there are three things that I noticed right away. 1. The profile name has both a female and male name attached. This tells me this is a couple who have one myspace they share. 2. The profile picture is of only the man, in his army uniform. This made me think he would most likely be fun to party with, most army boys are. And finally 3. The happy couple lives in Alabama. I've had some fun times in Alabama. I went crawdad fishing for the first time there. It was awesome.

I decide to send a friend request to them because I think they could be fun. And they were fun but in an entirely different way.

I love it when sheep come to the slaughter.

I've attached our correspondence below.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Justin and Dana (101036089)

To: Annastasia (373496811)

Date: Feb 16, 2009 11:03 AM

Subject: Hey

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: ..Annastasia..

Date: Feb 16, 2009 3:37 PM

I am Anna

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Justin and Dana (101036089)

To: Annastasia (373496811)

Date: Feb 16, 2009 11:16 AM

Subject: Re: RE: Hey

Well anna dnt send n e mre frnd request to my husband. He doesnt get on here i do so just leave him alone

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: ..Annastasia..

Date: Feb 16, 2009 4:21 PM

Its not as if I was trying to get in his pants, your husband is safe. Don't freak out. I sent a friend request because I thought the two of you might be cool people but, I guess not. You're just an overprotective bitch. I'm so glad you keep your military husband, who most likely needs a large support system due to the huge responsibility his job places on him, away from making new friends. Your such a thoughtful wife.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Justin and Dana (101036089)

To: Annastasia (373496811) Date: Feb 16, 2009 11:26 AM

Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Hey

Yeah im a bitch but im not a fucking whore like u. Go get a life. Stop trying to mesg ppls husbands. Little whores like you are not worth wasteing my time on. Send all the mesg u want to we wont read them. And like i said he doesnt get on here any mre i do so go fuck with sum one else husband

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: ..Annastasia..

Date: Feb 16, 2009 4:32 PM

Its so funny that you would cast judgment on me so quickly, Calling me a whore is a little out of place when I said I DO NOT WANT IN HIS PANTS. See how wrong you can be when you cast judgment so quickly?

I thought since you do have that you were on myspace to make friends that maybe just maybe we could have been friends. You make it quite apparent that he has someone special in his life just by your profile name. I thought maybe two people that were in a committed relationship could have friends outside of each other. I do but I guess in your eyes that makes me a whore.

I am sorry that you are not open to having friends. I hope that your husband is okay with that decision because you seem to be talking for him too.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Justin and Dana (101036089)

To: Annastasia (373496811)

Date: Feb 16, 2009 11:37 AM

Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Hey

He is rite here beside me reading every thing so get over it. Damn dnt u knw when sum one is telling u that they dnt want to talk to u. Good- bye

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: ..Annastasia..

Date: Feb 16, 2009 5:05 PM

I thought, since we have been talking, I would help you out a little bit. That way you would see I just want to be friends with you. Because that is what friends do, they help each other out. That being said, your last message to me seemed a little rushed. I am touched you would get back to me so quickly but you may want to be sure your spell check is working correctly because it seems to have broken. You wrote to me: "He is rite here beside me reading every thing so get over it. Damn dnt u knw when sum one is telling u that they dnt want to talk to u. Good- bye" The correct grammar and spelling for this message would be: "He is right here beside me, reading everything. So, get over it. Damn! Don't you know when someone is telling you that they don't want to talk to you. Good Bye!!" I hope that this will assist you in getting your spell check fixed. Also, I respect that you don't have the time to talk to me right now but, that is the beauty of myspace messages you can let them sit in your in box until you do have the time to respond! Also, I would like to apologize for the comment I made earlier. You are not a bitch. I was very quick to judge and shouldn't have been. I can see by the fact that your husband is there with you that the two of you must have a very committed relationship. It only takes one person to type. I should have known that. Hope to hear from you soon new friends!!

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Justin and Dana (101036089)

To: Annastasia (373496811)

Date: Feb 16, 2009 12:31 PM

Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE:

Hey Look i knw how to spell. Ok. Just leave us alone we are nt ur frnd. Go away!



I figure I will give it about a week and the Message my new friends again to see how they have been doing, and to make sure nothing is wrong in the stunningly beautiful relationship they have.

A Bit of Information

I know you were all looking forward to a wonderfully witty and well composed post from me this week. You will still get that post, however, I am posting a bit of news first. Expect a story up on Wednesday, March 11, 2009.

As some of my more loyal readers know, I only break format once a year. and it is always due to something BIG! Yes, you've guessed it! TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

And for my birthday, I am going on some weekend tours. First, this weekend, I am taking off to Richmond, Virginia on the 13th-15th The next weekend, I am going to be in Cleveland, Ohio for the Dave Coulier show. The 27th-29th, I am going to Columbus, Ohio to relax in a wonderfully plush hotel and shop until my wallet runs dry. And April is full of more places and more fun.

I am telling all of my readers this because I want to be out of town every weekend from March to June...which means if you have a party, I will be there, just shoot me an e-mail at Annastasia.Manos@gmail.com.

Wee Willy Winkle

I have this fear, well honestly it is more of an aversion, to male genitalia. The penis is just weird looking. Mind you, I do rather enjoy the effects it has on the female form...I just don't see any reason why one should be sought after when not in it's fully erect position.

Seeing a flaccid penis makes me shudder. I honestly don't understand them. This turns out to be a great thing for whomever I am dating at the time because when I do happen upon a debilitated pecker, I feel the need to help it past its own short comings. I work my hardest to never have to see a flimsy love bump.

That being said, my hostility toward the flaccid penis never had any rhyme nor reason to it. No one I have talked to can help me pinpoint why I have this fear. However, I believe it stemmed from the fact that I had spent most of my life never seeing one. Every contact I had with men and their naughty bits had been of the joyous kind. Each and every one was at full attention; ready and willing to fight the good fight before I had even come close to it.

I had made it to the ripe old age of eighteen before I had even considered what a flaccid penis looked like. I still remember the first time I ever laid eyes upon Zorro's unmasked sword. I went to Kent State for their Halloween bash where I let it slip to Benji that I had never seen a trouser soldier not standing at attention. He found this to be rather odd and after much chagrin on my part, Benji whipped out his willy for the world to see. (Editor's Note: It was just for Anna to see...everyone else has to buy me a drink first ;) )

It was then I vowed never to see his again: soft, hard, or anywhere in between. Best friend penis is worse than flaccid penis every time.

It has been three years since the horrid exchange that bordered on facing a fear and oogling my friend's junk. I still have an irrational fear for the shrunken slinger. I don't think it will ever go away.